The fine art of dining alone; and, new headphones to try

Hi there team, and a big happy Thursday to you all. I’m just back from a week in Western Australia, where I travelled to review restaurants and check out a few wineries. And, as you will no doubt be able to tell from today’s topic, I was travelling by myself. That’s nine restaurant meals and countless wine-tasting experiences solo, so if I didn’t already know a thing or two about eating alone while travelling, now I really do. I’ve got just a week at home now until I head to Kenya – more on that later. In the meantime, if there is anything you would really like me to cover in this newsletter, any topic or destination or issue or type of advice you would like to hear, please feel free to reply direct to this email, or leave a comment in the section below. I would love to hear from you.

I’m not going to tell you that dining alone is better than with company. That is absolutely not true.

Something is missing when you visit a restaurant alone, I can admit that. It’s like any great, memorable experience: it’s nice to have someone there to share it, to be able to recall it with. To me a meal is even better when you have someone, or many people, there to add the sparkle of good conversation to the joy of food and wine and place.

But there’s a reality we have to contend with here. You don’t always travel with other people. You don’t always know other people. You might have no one around on your adventures who wants to do what you do and dine where you dine.

So what how do you tackle it?

I think this is one of the scariest, or at least most intimidating prospects for people when they first start travelling on their own. You can do the flights solo and you can sightsee on your own and you can get used to the idea of just having to rely on yourself to get from place to place and deal with problems.

But dining in a restaurant at a table for one? Going out to a bar and sipping a cocktail on your own? Isn’t that weird? Don’t you feel like a loser?

I’m here to tell you that no, it’s not weird, you don’t have to feel like a loser, and you can have some of the most memorable, enjoyable meals and evenings of your life in your own company. You just have to know how to do it properly.

I’ve spent the last week in WA, reviewing restaurants and dining solo. I’ve also spent the best part of the last 30 years frequently travelling by myself and yet still indulging in one of the things I like doing most when I’m somewhere new: eating.

So I know a thing or two about this. I know that it’s doable, I know that it’s enjoyable. I also know that it’s not quite as good as a meal with sparkling company, but it comes close, and that should be good enough.

(One of my most memorable meals in recent memory, at Mil Centro in the Andes of Peru, an incredible, singular fine-dining restaurant in a spectacular location, was done solo - though you can join me there next time. At the end of it I messaged my partner Jess and said, “If I hadn’t been there by myself it would have been one of the best meals of my life.” But with time I’ve come to realise that, hey, whatever, it still was.)

First thing to remember is that almost no one else cares that you are dining at this restaurant alone. There’s a feeling to begin with that you’re being stared at, that everyone is whispering about the loser at the table for one. But the reality is that people really aren’t paying that much attention.

They’re just eating their food and drinking their drinks and enjoying their company in the same way you usually do when you’re out with company. You’re not scanning the dining room looking for solo eaters to laugh at, are you?

So OK, you’re not feeling like a loser. But are you bored? What do you look at or do when you’re sitting at a table by yourself?

This is very much up to each individual, and I would recommend trying a few different approaches to see what works for you.

You’re probably going to have your phone with you, and you’re allowed to look at it. Read a feature story. Flip through social media. Whatever you like.

Some people like to take a Kindle or a whole book and sit there at their table and read, which I also think is fine.

You should also, however, try raw-dogging it, just sitting there and taking in your surroundings, talking to the waitstaff, discreetly listening in on interesting conversations at other tables, watching the kitchen (if you can see it), seeing how locals act in this place, looking at what they’re eating and drinking, learning about culture and norms from the comfort of your chair.

This will be essential in some situations. I’ve been to numerous sushi restaurants on my own, where you sit at a counter next to other guests and dine facing the chef. It’s pretty rude, in a situation designed to be so social and personal, to stare at your phone or read a book, so you’re going to need to look up and talk to people, or just stay quiet and watch.

Bar or counter seating is actually great for solo diners, and would be my recommendation if it’s an option wherever you’re going out to eat. Sitting at a bar is usually a more social style of seating, where fellow diners might be up for a chat, and bar or waitstaff will usually be around to make conversation too. Plus, you have something interesting to look at rather than an empty chair in front of you.

Going out drinking alone is a little different. This is something that I do when I’m travelling, but I’m a white man who doesn’t face the same dangers that others do, so I’m not here to tell you that this is necessarily easy or safe or even enjoyable.

This is something for everyone to consider and decide for themselves. My advice, if you’re dipping your toe in, would be to go for a classy cocktail bar rather than a divey pub. Get a seat at the bar and order something nice and talk to the staff or stare at your phone or just gaze blankly into the distance if that’s how you’re feeling.

Honestly, I don’t take a huge amount of joy from going out to bars on my own. I’ve had some great nights in the likes of Ireland and Scotland where I’ve met a heap of people and partied on well into the night, but for the most part I just feel like I’m wasting my money on expensive drinks to sip alone.

I visited a few bars solo in Perth over the last week, for review. I sat there at tables by myself and sipped cocktails and mostly just felt like I was taking up space that a larger group would have more fun in.

So I took myself off to have dinner.

TECH REVIEW: BOSE QUIETCOMFORT 2 HEADPHONES

I have to admit, I have spent far too much money in my life on audio equipment, particularly equipment that is going to make my travel life more enjoyable. So when I was offered to review these new Bose QuietComfort 2^nd generation headphones, I jumped at the chance. I’ve taken them on a few trips now, and have been swapping them out intermittently with my current headphones, which are Apple AirPods Pro 3. I also have my own set of Bose QuietComfort Ultra headphones, so… I’m OK for headphones.

First thing you notice with this new pair is the colour, which is bold to say the least. Next up is the feel of them: they don’t feel as solidly made as my QC Ultras, which I guess you can expect for a $100 price difference. The noise-cancelling capability of the QC2 is excellent, particularly for travel. On trains and in planes you’re cocooned in your own little world of music and podcasts, which I love with over-ear headphones. The sound quality is also top-notch, as you would expect from Bose.

But will these replace my in-ear AirPods? Honestly, probably not. I love the sound and the feel of the Bose over-ear phones, but for pure convenience, and still with very good sound, I’m probably going to stick with in-ear noise-cancelling headphones.

If you’re keen on the QuietComfort 2 phones though, you can find out more here.

THINGS I’M LOVING THIS WEEK

• Jetstar staff engaged in industrial action this week, and as part of it they waived all sorts of fees for customers for an entire day, such as excess baggage, seat changes and late fees. If only it was always like that.
• My trip on the New Camellia overnight ferry from Busan to Fukuoka was a proper adventure, and well worth the effort to do something different.

THINGS I’M NOT LOVING

• Surely this guy was just trying to get attention. No one really wants to sit in the middle seat and chat to strangers… right?
• The new World’s 50 Best Bars list is about to be announced and I have to say, I find it very hard to get excited about this. Restaurants are very subjective, but bars are surely even more so. Doesn’t the world have enough “best of” lists now?